Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Joys of Pregnancy: Heartburn
I have had serious heartburn through the whole pregnancy. At first saltines seemed to do the trick. When those stopped working Cherry concentrate and apple cider vinager worked amazingly. That didn't last. After that mints worked great, then I resorted to tums. Now, my tums offer little relief as well. Tonight I am resorting to constant eating to cure this heartburn. I am now wondering if there is a way to rig up my mouth to chew and eat in my sleep.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Baby V-day
So, yesterday was viability day. For those of you who don't know. This is 24 weeks into pregnancy. It is the time where the baby is considered Viable. That means if I were to give birth right now, doctors would do everything possible to save the baby. This also means our statistics are looking better and better.
This is one of those odd milestones that makes me feel very excited. To know that we are that much closer to having a baby in our house and not just in my belly.
This is one of those odd milestones that makes me feel very excited. To know that we are that much closer to having a baby in our house and not just in my belly.
 |
| 24 week baby bump |
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Food Stamps
Well all, this is the kind of thing I normally would keep to myself but I think I need to get some thoughts out there about it and that is why I created this blog in the first place.
So, here it goes: I just activated my account for food stamps. Our card, better known as the bridge card to those of you here in Michigan, has left me with some mixed feelings that I would like to explore.
There is a huge stigma in this country about any form of government assistance, In this area specifically, it is looked down upon and if you are on any form of it you might as well be one step up from trash in many people's eyes. So, with this attitude in the back of my mind, I do feel an immense amount of shame for succumbing to my needs of applying for help. Also, I know my shame will be much worse tonight when we use the card for the first time.
So why with all these feelings did I decide to apply in the first place and not just go on struggling through? After all, we were making it before hand. Well I have two separate, and in my mind equally important reasons for putting myself through this.
1. Personal Situation: When Tim lost his job earlier this year it was a devastating loss. He is the income in our family, even when I do bring in money it is extra. We did OK for a short time after, it was right when we were getting our tax returns back. So, instead of buying a car that runs properly, We stocked up our freezer and paid all our bills a month in advance. We thought this would for sure get us through until his unemployment check came in or he found another job.
The following month and zero job offers later, we also got the horrible news that one government agency had let us down. We weren't getting unemployment, we had no prospect of future income. To make things more stressful; my little part time job only had a month left; I found out I was pregnant, which is a great thing since we had been trying for months, but it also meant I needed to eat better, which costs a lot more money especially in winter in Michigan when there is no local produce.
So with no incoming coming in we started to get behind on our bills, somehow we still managed to struggle through and soon after Tim found a job. But now we were behind. We already had a fairly large (at least in my eyes) amount of debt, so we had no credit cards to hold us over. We struggled, missed payments, bought the cheapest food we could so we would have enough money for gas to get to work. I knew it would get better, since we were doing fine before and this job was equal in pay to what we were getting. What I didn't expect was that once you get behind, it is much harder to get caught up. We were, and still are just one paycheck behind. We started paying what was most important. We were a little late on a lot of bills, but they were still getting paid.
The I got sick. The food that we had stocked up in our freezer was running out and we had been eating crap food. Although I was still making sure to take vitamins (and doubling up to account for the lack of them in my diet) I wasn't feeling good. My body was just off balance and with the baby taking most of the nutrients that I did have. I got a UTI, a yeast infection and I could feel an overgrowth of yeast in my whole system, and my PH level was extremely low and I knew continuing with it would just be asking for bacteria to take over more. I knew I wasn't doing myself or the baby a favor my saving money eating pasta and breads and nothing else. I knew I needed to spend the extra money on healthy foods. It was money we didn't have, but I had no choice. So we bought our food for the week, actual fresh fruits and veggies (lots of salad, my major craving), Greek yogurt and an all around healthy diet. It came to 4 times what our "Cheap crap" diet was, but we spent it anyway.
I started feeling better right away, the infections I had cleared up and I even got some energy back (which I attribute half to diet and half to entering into the 2nd trimester). But our bills struggled more. We now were spending more on food so there was less to go around for bills. We were still behind from before and now we were falling further. I hate living this way. I grew up living like that, it wasn't always that bad, but I do remember plenty of red letter envelopes. The stress of the bills was much more than any stress I had felt before. I knew going like this wasn't any better than eating crap to survive.
So, I swallowed my pride and applied for help. Since it is pretty much all done online it wasn't too bad. But I somehow still felt like a failure. Even though I am doing this to help my little growing family, I still can't shake those feelings of letting everything down.
2. Social Reasons: This is no where near as long of a story, but I find it important none the less. Why apply for the infamous Bridge Card? Because there should not be shame, there should not be the stigma attached to such a thing, and in my own way it is my protest against these thoughts and ideas in our society.
Democracy, for all it's wonderful advantages, also creates a need for a certain number of the population to be poor. This is just how our system operates. Because a certain number must remain in the poor class (and reproduce the poor class) there is an advantage for the system to take care of this said poor class. Now I think for all our system does do that it is seriously lacking in this department, especially when compared to other countries, but that is another rant entirely.
So, with my two reasons in mind. I will use my bridge card tonight without shame (at least try to). And will take comfort that it is that much more money that we can get back on track with.
So, here it goes: I just activated my account for food stamps. Our card, better known as the bridge card to those of you here in Michigan, has left me with some mixed feelings that I would like to explore.
There is a huge stigma in this country about any form of government assistance, In this area specifically, it is looked down upon and if you are on any form of it you might as well be one step up from trash in many people's eyes. So, with this attitude in the back of my mind, I do feel an immense amount of shame for succumbing to my needs of applying for help. Also, I know my shame will be much worse tonight when we use the card for the first time.
So why with all these feelings did I decide to apply in the first place and not just go on struggling through? After all, we were making it before hand. Well I have two separate, and in my mind equally important reasons for putting myself through this.
1. Personal Situation: When Tim lost his job earlier this year it was a devastating loss. He is the income in our family, even when I do bring in money it is extra. We did OK for a short time after, it was right when we were getting our tax returns back. So, instead of buying a car that runs properly, We stocked up our freezer and paid all our bills a month in advance. We thought this would for sure get us through until his unemployment check came in or he found another job.
The following month and zero job offers later, we also got the horrible news that one government agency had let us down. We weren't getting unemployment, we had no prospect of future income. To make things more stressful; my little part time job only had a month left; I found out I was pregnant, which is a great thing since we had been trying for months, but it also meant I needed to eat better, which costs a lot more money especially in winter in Michigan when there is no local produce.
So with no incoming coming in we started to get behind on our bills, somehow we still managed to struggle through and soon after Tim found a job. But now we were behind. We already had a fairly large (at least in my eyes) amount of debt, so we had no credit cards to hold us over. We struggled, missed payments, bought the cheapest food we could so we would have enough money for gas to get to work. I knew it would get better, since we were doing fine before and this job was equal in pay to what we were getting. What I didn't expect was that once you get behind, it is much harder to get caught up. We were, and still are just one paycheck behind. We started paying what was most important. We were a little late on a lot of bills, but they were still getting paid.
The I got sick. The food that we had stocked up in our freezer was running out and we had been eating crap food. Although I was still making sure to take vitamins (and doubling up to account for the lack of them in my diet) I wasn't feeling good. My body was just off balance and with the baby taking most of the nutrients that I did have. I got a UTI, a yeast infection and I could feel an overgrowth of yeast in my whole system, and my PH level was extremely low and I knew continuing with it would just be asking for bacteria to take over more. I knew I wasn't doing myself or the baby a favor my saving money eating pasta and breads and nothing else. I knew I needed to spend the extra money on healthy foods. It was money we didn't have, but I had no choice. So we bought our food for the week, actual fresh fruits and veggies (lots of salad, my major craving), Greek yogurt and an all around healthy diet. It came to 4 times what our "Cheap crap" diet was, but we spent it anyway.
I started feeling better right away, the infections I had cleared up and I even got some energy back (which I attribute half to diet and half to entering into the 2nd trimester). But our bills struggled more. We now were spending more on food so there was less to go around for bills. We were still behind from before and now we were falling further. I hate living this way. I grew up living like that, it wasn't always that bad, but I do remember plenty of red letter envelopes. The stress of the bills was much more than any stress I had felt before. I knew going like this wasn't any better than eating crap to survive.
So, I swallowed my pride and applied for help. Since it is pretty much all done online it wasn't too bad. But I somehow still felt like a failure. Even though I am doing this to help my little growing family, I still can't shake those feelings of letting everything down.
2. Social Reasons: This is no where near as long of a story, but I find it important none the less. Why apply for the infamous Bridge Card? Because there should not be shame, there should not be the stigma attached to such a thing, and in my own way it is my protest against these thoughts and ideas in our society.
Democracy, for all it's wonderful advantages, also creates a need for a certain number of the population to be poor. This is just how our system operates. Because a certain number must remain in the poor class (and reproduce the poor class) there is an advantage for the system to take care of this said poor class. Now I think for all our system does do that it is seriously lacking in this department, especially when compared to other countries, but that is another rant entirely.
So, with my two reasons in mind. I will use my bridge card tonight without shame (at least try to). And will take comfort that it is that much more money that we can get back on track with.
Friday, May 25, 2012
The Stuff: Diapers
So, Being a first time mom I started looking into baby stuff immediately after finding out that I was pregnant (O.K. it was actually before I was pregnant) but now that we are further along we are getting serious about actually making decisions.
Here is the thing: There is a lot of crap. Like a lot. We do not need all that stuff. No one needs all the baby stuff that is out there. Fine, I already knew that. what I don't know is what I actually do need or what I will really want. I imagine for any parents it is difficult, but for first time parents it is almost impossible. As of right now, I have not bought anything, seriously nothing, no onsies, not bottles no baby stuff, at all. I can say a lot of this is because of my confusion.
So this is my new series of posts on the stuff that we are researching and how it is messing with my mind. Our first entry. Diapers.
Diapers: I was sure this would be easy for us. We knew we wanted to do cloth, it is out lifestyle. I didn't want create the waste, nor spend so much money on disposables. Plus we try to live as natural as possible, which means no chemicals. and natural disposables are way way way expensive! So, obviously we are doing cloth. Decision done.
Or so I thought. one search of cloth diapers would tell me much different. It was a whole world. All these different types and styles. I had no idea. What is going to work for us, All in ones, prefolds, fitted, pockets. It was a new language and one I didn't understand.. at all. Then, there was all the brands. Even if I knew what type I wanted I would have no idea what brands. I considered just going with disposable because it was so confusing.
If you think this is easier because you decided to go disposable, you are also wrong. You still have to pick brand, style, natural, cheap, whatever. and if you need crazy things like Diaper Genies.
So, for me cloth it is still. We will be trying a few styles and brands. Then, the next step actually thinking about how it will really work. Thinking about the practicality of it is a whole other thing. What to do with the dirty diapers, do we use use cloth wipes too, how do you take care of them before washing.
The Wipe Debate: Cloth wipes make sense with cloth diapers, then you don't need a garbage for the wipes separately. But that also means more laundry, more cleaning and that I need to figure out just what is best to use for cloth.
So, possibly disposable wipes. Then, garbage? in the bathroom? in the baby room? What about a wipe warmer, who needs a wipe warmer anyway? Seriously, are wipes that cold? I find this to be one of the crazy inventions that I don't need at all.
I haven't came up with answers to this yet. I, actually have not done any research on it.
Dirty Diapers: How feasible is it to walk the dirty diaper to the bathroom to dump it out, then what? Our bathroom is tiny, I don't think we will be able to fit a spot for diapers in it.
Speaking of where diapers go, I had no idea about wet bags, wet pails or any other method to store dirty diapers. Personally I really like the idea of a wet pail, where the diapers soak. Then I wouldn't have to soak them pre-laundry. One of the hard things about a pail is that you need to be able to dump it. I don't want to be carrying a big pail of water through the house (especially not all the way downstairs) so I have to dump it before hand. if I can figure it out though, it would be great.
OK, that sounds good. Again my bathroom is tiny. And I'm not talking about small like you see in magazines that have the articles about more storage in "small" bathrooms. "Add a table or small dresser for storage" any advice like this means you do not have a small bathroom. I can sit on the toilet and wash my hands in the sink and feet in the bathtub. Putting a pail in the bathroom for easy diaper storage and dumping would be hard.
So, I don't know what we are doing. I did think about maybe a storage device that hooks to the wall next to the toilet (and half in the shower) with a drain so I could pull the drain and then take the bucket off the wall and carry it (minus the water) downstairs for laundry. This is an invention in my own mind, so I, 1. don't know if it will work and 2. I would have to build it.
My Best Advice: The best advice I have got is take it slow and no matter what you do know you will probably have to try a few things anyway. While we still haven't made any decisions, I feel like it is do-able, at least as far as diapers. stay tune for my next The Stuff entry to see if I feel the same way about strollers and car seats
Here is the thing: There is a lot of crap. Like a lot. We do not need all that stuff. No one needs all the baby stuff that is out there. Fine, I already knew that. what I don't know is what I actually do need or what I will really want. I imagine for any parents it is difficult, but for first time parents it is almost impossible. As of right now, I have not bought anything, seriously nothing, no onsies, not bottles no baby stuff, at all. I can say a lot of this is because of my confusion.
So this is my new series of posts on the stuff that we are researching and how it is messing with my mind. Our first entry. Diapers.
Diapers: I was sure this would be easy for us. We knew we wanted to do cloth, it is out lifestyle. I didn't want create the waste, nor spend so much money on disposables. Plus we try to live as natural as possible, which means no chemicals. and natural disposables are way way way expensive! So, obviously we are doing cloth. Decision done.
Or so I thought. one search of cloth diapers would tell me much different. It was a whole world. All these different types and styles. I had no idea. What is going to work for us, All in ones, prefolds, fitted, pockets. It was a new language and one I didn't understand.. at all. Then, there was all the brands. Even if I knew what type I wanted I would have no idea what brands. I considered just going with disposable because it was so confusing.
If you think this is easier because you decided to go disposable, you are also wrong. You still have to pick brand, style, natural, cheap, whatever. and if you need crazy things like Diaper Genies.
So, for me cloth it is still. We will be trying a few styles and brands. Then, the next step actually thinking about how it will really work. Thinking about the practicality of it is a whole other thing. What to do with the dirty diapers, do we use use cloth wipes too, how do you take care of them before washing.
The Wipe Debate: Cloth wipes make sense with cloth diapers, then you don't need a garbage for the wipes separately. But that also means more laundry, more cleaning and that I need to figure out just what is best to use for cloth.
So, possibly disposable wipes. Then, garbage? in the bathroom? in the baby room? What about a wipe warmer, who needs a wipe warmer anyway? Seriously, are wipes that cold? I find this to be one of the crazy inventions that I don't need at all.
I haven't came up with answers to this yet. I, actually have not done any research on it.
Dirty Diapers: How feasible is it to walk the dirty diaper to the bathroom to dump it out, then what? Our bathroom is tiny, I don't think we will be able to fit a spot for diapers in it.
Speaking of where diapers go, I had no idea about wet bags, wet pails or any other method to store dirty diapers. Personally I really like the idea of a wet pail, where the diapers soak. Then I wouldn't have to soak them pre-laundry. One of the hard things about a pail is that you need to be able to dump it. I don't want to be carrying a big pail of water through the house (especially not all the way downstairs) so I have to dump it before hand. if I can figure it out though, it would be great.
OK, that sounds good. Again my bathroom is tiny. And I'm not talking about small like you see in magazines that have the articles about more storage in "small" bathrooms. "Add a table or small dresser for storage" any advice like this means you do not have a small bathroom. I can sit on the toilet and wash my hands in the sink and feet in the bathtub. Putting a pail in the bathroom for easy diaper storage and dumping would be hard.
So, I don't know what we are doing. I did think about maybe a storage device that hooks to the wall next to the toilet (and half in the shower) with a drain so I could pull the drain and then take the bucket off the wall and carry it (minus the water) downstairs for laundry. This is an invention in my own mind, so I, 1. don't know if it will work and 2. I would have to build it.
My Best Advice: The best advice I have got is take it slow and no matter what you do know you will probably have to try a few things anyway. While we still haven't made any decisions, I feel like it is do-able, at least as far as diapers. stay tune for my next The Stuff entry to see if I feel the same way about strollers and car seats
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Baby Moving
I got to feel the baby for the first time last night. I was laying down and was a little uncomfortable, so I switched sides and very shortly after that felt baby flip too. It felt like a little strand of mini beads rolling across my uterus. I was surprised that it was very obvious that it was in my uterus. I had always heard that it was hard to tell at first if it was gas, digestion or baby.
I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow and being a first time mom I really wasn't expecting to feel anything for sure until much later, but it was such unique and wonderful feeling (and a little freaky).
I'll be 14 weeks tomorrow and being a first time mom I really wasn't expecting to feel anything for sure until much later, but it was such unique and wonderful feeling (and a little freaky).
Sunday, March 25, 2012
The Times They Are A-Changin'
Good morning blog world! I promise I have not forgot about you. Life as we know it has been equally crazy and exciting.
I'm Pregnant!
OK, so yes, I am very excited. Even more so, Tim is very excite. I am actually surprised that he is so excited about it. Just goes to show me I have the most wonderful Husband
So, for all of you (and for my record), here is the run-down of early events
I found out: Feb 27th at like 11:30 P.M.
I told Tim: Feb 28th. I broke it to him very gently because With the stress of him being unemployed at the time I was worried about his reaction. He was excited right off the bat. I cried because I was so relieved and happy
Baby's arrival: Last week of Oct/First week of November. Not comfortable with a date because I have long cycles. According to my Last Period (the date that many doctors use) we are looking at Oct 31st. According to my ovulation date (which is a little more accurate, but unsure if I actually Ovulated then) Our date is November 10th. So, I figure first week of November is a good guess.
We told my Mom and Step dad, Randy: March 4th. I wanted her to be the first to know; my mom and I are really close and I couldn't imagine anyone besides Tim and I knowing before she did. I gave her a CD of Carol King's "Really Rosie" It's a kid's CD that we listened to when I was a child. I told her she needed to memorize it before November. After a second for it to sink in she yelled "You're pregnant" then almost cried. It was a great experience
We told Tim's family: March 7th. They were all excited. I think his older sister is the most excited.
My first bout with Morning sickness: March 5th. I got really nauseous on my drive to work. I almost had to pull over a few times.
Morning Sickness really kicked in: March 13th. I have been nauseous pretty much ever since. and Have found Preggie Drops and hard candy is my friend.
I'm Pregnant!
OK, so yes, I am very excited. Even more so, Tim is very excite. I am actually surprised that he is so excited about it. Just goes to show me I have the most wonderful Husband
So, for all of you (and for my record), here is the run-down of early events
I found out: Feb 27th at like 11:30 P.M.
I told Tim: Feb 28th. I broke it to him very gently because With the stress of him being unemployed at the time I was worried about his reaction. He was excited right off the bat. I cried because I was so relieved and happy
Baby's arrival: Last week of Oct/First week of November. Not comfortable with a date because I have long cycles. According to my Last Period (the date that many doctors use) we are looking at Oct 31st. According to my ovulation date (which is a little more accurate, but unsure if I actually Ovulated then) Our date is November 10th. So, I figure first week of November is a good guess.
We told my Mom and Step dad, Randy: March 4th. I wanted her to be the first to know; my mom and I are really close and I couldn't imagine anyone besides Tim and I knowing before she did. I gave her a CD of Carol King's "Really Rosie" It's a kid's CD that we listened to when I was a child. I told her she needed to memorize it before November. After a second for it to sink in she yelled "You're pregnant" then almost cried. It was a great experience
We told Tim's family: March 7th. They were all excited. I think his older sister is the most excited.
My first bout with Morning sickness: March 5th. I got really nauseous on my drive to work. I almost had to pull over a few times.
Morning Sickness really kicked in: March 13th. I have been nauseous pretty much ever since. and Have found Preggie Drops and hard candy is my friend.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Positivity, Even in Challenges
When you stumble, get back up. It is imperative that you see like as constantly revolving. Fluid, like that of the ocean; ever expanding vastness, with endless possibilities and potentials. Without chance there isn't gain, without fumbles there isn't wins. Some may see me as optimistic, some naive, some just plain dumb; none of these things and all of these things are true. I am naive, dumb, but most optimistic; I am the positive I wish to see in the world.
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